Kid #1: Why do your friends give you a shower when you have a baby in your tummy? (We were getting ready for a baby shower for a girl on our team at school.)
Kid #2: BECAUSE....when you have a baby inside you, you get fat. And when you get fat, you start to stink. And when you start to stink, your friends make you take a shower. (Now this kid has it ALL figured out!)
Kid: I ran out of gas...(walking into the classroom with a big smile on his face)
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you tired?
Kid: And the hallway smells...(ewwwww....)
Kid: That one is the mommy tadpole. (Looking at our tadpole aquarium)
Me: How do you know?
Kid: Because she has a big mouth and a big bottom... (Oh, of course! How did I miss that one!)
Me: Who threw up all over the pocket chart and the carpet back here?
Kids: Silence...more silence...
Me: OK, I really need to know who threw up so I can help you...
Kids: More silence...
Me: OK, I'm going to go back to my table to pull reading groups. If it was you, please come quietly tell me. You are not in trouble. I just need to know.
Me: Did you throw up all over the back of the room?
Me: Maybe? Why didn't you tell me?
Kid: I forgot??? (Hmmmm...)
Kid: I'm worried about you Mrs. Williams.
Me: Oh, that is not your job. Why are you worried about me?
Kid: Because you drink a lot of beer... (Huh what?...How does he know? J/K)
Me: Sweetie, what makes you think I drink a lot of beer?
Kid: You know those green bottles that you always drink...that's beer...
Me: Oh, sweetie, that is not beer. It is water called Perrier. (Good thing we cleared that one up!)